Tuesday, May 11, 2010

An Eve without Web

Nearly a third of a day ago I was told by someone to lead the life of an ascetic. That was the medication prescribed for certain symptoms rising out of my habit of baring my mind. The greatest mystery about truth is that it is often more misunderstood as lie than falsehood itself. As truth got unfolded, my lines were read between and earlier statements were (re)interpreted to a completely false conclusion. I suppose we are so used to deception, that a candid expression is almost universally noticed, either to an applause or to suspicion. I take facts by facts but my expectations about others doing the same is definitely a thing of the Mars, if not Utopia.

I don't smoke, nor drink or have a fatal attraction towards television that I can get rid off. Must an ascetic abandon his uninterrupted nurturing of some unworthy passion, I decided to put my habit of being on the internet to a test. I decided to stay disconnected till tomorrow morning. Not doing this for the first time, but not as the first step of becoming an ascetic.

9:25pm. A force can only be replaced by another force of same or more strength. Passion must replace passion, love must replace love, hatred can be replaced by hatred towards hate, if I cannot get online I must be doing something equally occupying. I had started to watch "The Berlin Express". It just ended. Twice I had the urge to take a peek at my mailbox, but I able to curb it. Next reporting, an hour later.

10:32pm now, and I smell something burning. The scene in front is showing a person from an Italian asylum taking a leak with his fly still buttoned, but it didn't take a minute to dawn upon me that the smell bothering me isn't, possibly can't be, coming from the movie 'Amarcord' but from my kitchen where a rather watery ensemble of veggies is supposed to be slowly enraged to perfection. Shoot!!! I quickly go and fill the pot with water to its brink. Dessert to ocean in a the wink of en eye. And I have managed to spent one more hour avoiding the urge.

11:02pm. Finished making 5 round flat whole-wheat breads. Miracle of technology has gifted the ability of enjoying homemade "roti"/"chapati" to people challenged with rolling pins and dough. Now I can make chapatis at the rate of asymptotically one in every 5 minutes, start to finish and no messy guts lying around. I also reaffirmed my theory of losing weight, cooking food for self. It has nothing to do with the taste, in fact it better be friendly to one's palate to facilitate a long term entate; the energy spent during cooking is enough to burn the excess carb one might be taking in. Well of course, the person concerned has to possess the inability to sit quietly at a place for even a minute: I have been walking around constantly during the last half an hour. Still no sign of the return of any urge. Good so far.

Two minutes have passed since the hands of my watch agreed on their positions. Midnight has just happened. I had to stop "Breakfast at Tiffany's" because I didn't want to spend the whole evening only watching movies. I had to anyway switch to this Hollywood flick because it is cumbersome to eat and watch the subtitles of the previous one. I better start making my bed. I just made a quick pass at the breeze from the balcony ... it is lovely. I remembered I had to send an email to two students about some web stuff ... but I cannot take the risk of opening the door of a card house; the whole effort will wash away in an instant. There is a photo staring at me from my desktop. I will let it stare and shutting my mind, drop the curtains atop my laptop. Good night, bis morgan.

Two birds woke me up. It is 6:50am now. They were fighting, or jostling but in a rather hostile manner, out of my sight; but foolish as they are, they didn't bother to consider my ears and were just outside my window. Rascals, had to scare them off ... the next they always do is lit my floors with litter. I remember falling off to sleep last night while I was working on a, what I think is incorrect, proof in Flavio's paper; I want to email him and seek an explanation. Email?! Coming back to me pretending to be abstinent, I think I will postpone the ritual of breaking it once I reach office. Soon after I woke up, I started 'St Matthew's Passion' (this one is sung in English and indeed sounds unfit) and the wonderful sacred music is currently occupying my heart and soul. I have been told I am living in darkness, maybe this music will lighten it up. I better prepare to leave for work. Next, from froffice.

8:57am. In front of my work PC and posting this blog. Long wait is over. And I did not miss anything. The good part is for the last half of the waiting time, I wasn't even eager for this moment to arrive. Maybe I will this thing again ... but I surely will not bore you again.

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